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Patience, planning and delayed gratification

August 20, 2017 by Clare

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There’s a few lessons here that relate directly to the course I’m currently doing — Marisa Peer’s hypnosis course (article to come once I’ve finished it).

I’m on week six of the course right now which is all about delaying gratification. In many ways I’d love to think I’m pretty good at this. However, I can be so impatient at times which doesn’t help. Week six is showing me my weaknesses and has really pushed my buttons in a good way.

In my life right now I’ve started to plan more, focus, and make conscious decisions about the future, as opposed to always behaving impulsively. One example that’s worked is my shift from full time employment to teaching yoga and blogging full time and making a living from these two things. I did make a plan here and it paid off. I now want to do this for other things.

In addition to my career, consciously choosing where to live next is my current goal, and in many ways I’ve been lacking patience. I’ve never really thought past a year and until recently I’ve never been someone to have an idea of where I want to be in three, five or ten years. I used to think it was boring to plan, but I’m now working on being impulsive and a planner in equal measure.

Often I get lost, partly because I have no idea what to do next, but I’m determined to get really good at knowing exactly when to act on impulse and when I need to create a thorough plan. I think both qualities are important because being impulsive gets you to act without fear and be flexible, but planning means you have a direction and are more likely to achieve whatever that goal is, as opposed to aimlessly drifting. So my mission — spontaneity within a carefully formed plan! I’m not so good with the planning, but I will get there.

To give you some context, I’m keen to find my ultimate home but I’m totally open as to where in the world this is. I’m the ultimate dreamer, which has it’s pros and cons because sometimes I just don’t think practically. I’m ready to settle somewhere and have a place that is ours, that’s really beautiful, and where I can host mini yoga retreats, be close to a city and nature etc, but at the moment, it’s just a collection of fragmented ideas.

What have I done about it so far? I’ve created a Pinterest vision board and done nothing practical except looking on Rightmove expecting my perfect home to be there readily packaged for me to rent or buy. I understand now that If I’m going to do this, I need to do it properly, and enjoy the whole process of not just finding the perfect place, but creating it.

Marisa Peer talks about people who have just been given businesses that have been handed down to them from their parents and often these businesses that did run successfully for years end up failing in a short space of time. The reason being that these people who just had it handed to them were robbed of the opportunity of actually having to work for it. They never got the chance to delay gratification or practise patience, working hard for something they really wanted.

I’ve been wondering why I can’t just find my perfect home and today I found the answer. I think in many ways I was expecting to just stumble across it and then move in.

My home right now is really lovely, but to feel a sense of accomplishment, I need to put work into this, do research into buying property abroad and in this country, and continue saving so it’s my own money that I’ve made myself through doing work I love that has gone into the process.

Marisa is so right — If someone just gave me keys right now to this perfect home with everything that’s in my imagination, sure I’d be really happy in the short run, but I’m sure I’d feel a greater sense of achievement if I’d been involved in the whole process.

The final lesson which is really linked to patience is detachment. I need to feel fully grateful for where I am right now, not cling to the outcome, and see everything else that comes as an added bonus.

 

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Filed Under: Learning Tagged With: delayed gratification, lessons, patience


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